Au Pair Life

Dear Diary, is this last month truly a reflection of what my life will look like for the next nine months? If so, wow, I am one lucky lady.

I have been here twenty-two days and finally feel settled in and ready to write this. I have so much to tell about so many things! Where I'm living, the family I am staying with, all the places close enough to explore, the friends I've made, and all the things I've done with the kids and things I've done by myself! There is SO MUCH. And honestly, all of it is great.

Let's start with what everyone wants to know: am I homesick/missing everyone??? The answer to this is very complex. The best way I can describe it is that I feel like I am in a completely different world. A world where everyone here is supposed to be here and I am just an addition to an already full and functioning world. I mean, here we are seven hours ahead of home, everyone speaks French (and I don't), the culture is different, buildings and roads are different, everything is different, so it's hard to process all of the people/things missing from my life back home. With that being said, of course I miss people/things from home. Like my parents. How could I not miss them??? They are literally the two best people I know, and I went from seeing/talking to them every day to living a gazillion miles away from them. And I've been trying to not even think about how much I miss my sister, Avery, and Riley. I can tell they are growing up so quickly, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried that they are going to forget me a little bit. I don't feel like it's necessary to list literally everyone I miss or think about daily (because there are so so many people), but just know, I'm thinking about you.

Now, something I didn't think I would miss: my job. And no, I do not regret taking a pause on teaching! That is totally not what I mean (I am so thankful I was brave enough to walk away for a year and give my heart and mind the break it needed). I do not miss the overwhelmed feeling I had almost every day and the stress from it all. What I do miss is waking up every morning and going to a comfortable space that is mine, talking to some of my best friends and being around people (kids and adults) every single day whom I love. Gosh, I so so miss being around "my people" every day. Having coffee while catching up with Maddison and Kirsten, stopping in Kelia's office during my plan time and crying over who knows what, poking my head into Brenda or Cristi's room ten times a day because something is happening in my classroom that I can't figure out how to stop. I miss those little things. I also miss feeling that no matter how the day had gone, I accomplished something. Even if the day was "terrible", there were still several good and amazing things that happened, and that gave me a sense of accomplishment.

Here, feelings of accomplishment come in different ways. For example, one Saturday morning I took a little journey to Geneva by myself, navigated underground parking, walked around the lake, found a beautiful park, read my book, and figured out how to pay for my parking without getting trapped in the garage. It was a small thing, but also a big deal and I felt proud of myself afterwards. Even going to the grocery store alone the first few times, it was overwhelming of course, but I figured it out, and that was a good feeling. These accomplishments feel small when compared to accomplishments one might make in a career, but to me, right now, they are just what I need.

Talking about needing things.... I would be lying if I didn't say I missed my coffee. I know I know, this is so petty. But really. I would loooooove to have a cup of coffee with vanilla creamer. I can close my eyes and picture my heavy red Drury mug that I always kept at school, full to the brim with my yummy delicious coffee and creamer. I am starting to like the coffee here, but it will never even come close to comparing to that.

I am adjusting to my "new normal" and finding joys in the little things and doing things I didn't prioritize at home. I've been walking every day/night around my new little town and I have been really enjoying that. I listen to music, podcasts, french lessons, or sometimes even nothing! It is nice to just walk down the street, look at the mountains, see all the trees changing colors, and just think about how I'm literally walking the streets of France. Like, come on!!! What a life, where I can just walk around France every evening!!!

Like I said, I just have so much to tell but I don't want this post to blab on and on, so I will finish it here. I promise to be more timely with my next few posts! I plan on writing about the fam/what I do for and with them, the friends I've made and what I do in my free time, and some other things here and there. As always, if you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I know that everyone who reads this is rooting for me and I just want you to know that I appreciate you more than you know.

-- With all that being said, I did just get a letter from my mom and I cried during and after reading it. I guess I miss some people a little more than I'm willing to admit <3 also, clearly that letter made me feel more sentimental because I added way more about all the things I miss about school!! Okay, now I'm done.